career decision

considering splitting my persona into two shaun gannons; would arbitarily decide which one wrote/said/did which thing; if asked about the 'wrong' thing i would reply "oh, that was the other shaun"; would double-submit everywhere i submitted and feign ignorance every time; would perform at readings twice in a row; was going to say "would interview myself" but i essentially do that all the time anyway; if anyone ever made the "never in the same room at the same time" joke i would reply "he and i have agreed that that joke isn't funny"; would kill myself