CRIXMAS 2011

WHAT'S UP YOU MOTHER FUCKING PIECES OF PUKE

TODAY
IS
CHRISTMAS
EVE

THAT MEANS IT'S CHRISTMAS BLOG POST TIME

WHAT AM I GONNA GET FOR CHRISTMAS
WELL I ALREADY GOT A BITCHIN LAPTOP
I GOT IT EARLY SO I COULD USE IT AT/FOR WORK
THAT OWNS

I KNOW I GOT SOME BOOZE FROM MY SISTER AND HER HUSBAND
I SAW THE BOOZE-BOTTLE-SHAPED CAN WRAPPED UP AND SAID "THAT'S BOOZE"
AND MY SISTER SAID "NO IT ISN'T"
AND I SAID "YES IT IS"
AND SHE SAID "DAMMIT"
SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

I GET TO GET FUCKED UP ON CHRISTMAS
FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND GUESS WHAT I'M DOING THAT RIGHT NOW TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET
FUCKING
JACKED
UP
FOR
CRIXMAS!!!!!!

WE'RE ALL GONNA OPEN SOME PRESENTS AND THANK OUR MOMS AND DADS AND GRANDMAS AND GRANDPAS AND AUNTS AND UNCLES AND BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND COUSINS AND SONS AND DAUGHTERS AND GRANDSONS AND GRANDDAUGHTERS AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS AND FRIENDS AND COWORKERS AND MOTHERFUCKING STRAYNJUHS FOR ALL OUR BADASS PRESENTS AND GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA THANK THOSE VERY SAME MOTHERFUCKERS FOR THE EXACT SAME REASON

BECAUSE WE TRADIN' GIFTS LIKE MOTHER FUCKIN WHOA UP HERE IN AMERICA

WE ALL GOT MAD DOUGH THAT WE CAN BLOW ON GENEROSITY FOR EACH OTHER

WE ALL FAHOO DORAYING ALL DAY LONG BECAUSE LIFE IS 100 PERCENT ABSOLUTELY PERFECT IN EVERY ASPECT LIKE A FLAWLESS DIAMOND THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSE

NOTHING IS WRONG

CONTINUE LIVING

SANTA DECREES THIS

I'M SO FUCKING BOOSTED ON THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT I COULD FEED THE WORLD ON MY ENERGY

DO THE ENERGY VAMPIRES KNOW IT'S CHRISTMASTIME AT ALL

FUCK ALL YALL WHO THINK YOU'RE WITTY FOR POINTING OUT THE IMPERIALISM IN THAT SONG

THAT
SONG
FUCKING
OWNS
YOR
NOT
FUNNY

"I'VE MURDERED I'LL DO IT AGAIN"