HUMAN CONTACT INTERVIEW: Crispin Best

This interview is the first in a series where i ask writers about various forms of human contact. here i talk to Crispin Best about kissing.


first off, do you enjoy kissing - if so, how much? is it something you passionately pursue, or could you take or leave it, or something in between

kissing seems pretty good, i think, but i don't kiss much because it means i can't check facebook and stuff without seeming like a fricken dingus. also people generally don't seem to want to kiss me all that much, so seems safer not to force those people to kiss me.


what is, in your opinion, the best place to kiss

butthole or mouth


what type of kiss or "move" performed during a kiss do you not enjoy

if someone... i guess if someone like punched me, or like a 'purple nurple' if that's a thing


is there any place you would not kiss

corpse's peen


is there a song that comes to mind when you think of/hear the word "kissing"

like... sixpence none the richer, man, come on


do you have a favorite Kiss of the Silver Screen

i like... um, like when jessica rabbit blows that kiss and flies along and hits [maybe bob hoskins or roger rabbit, i'm not sure] on the cheek. maybe that was... someone else completely... damn


what celebrity would you kiss, given the opportunity

um i thought my publicist told you i would only answer questions about fruit


would you kiss me, even if i didn't have the money to pay you

i dunno man. seems like i've never kissed a guy before, shamefully enough, so i don't like our chances.


I would like to thank Crispin for participating in this valuable exchange. next time, i will interview indie lit darling Ana C on another form of human contact. thanks for watching and tune in next time