HUMAN CONTACT INTERVIEW: Ana C.

Hello and welcome to the second of the human contact interview series. today we will be learning about handshakes and my guest is ana c. i hope you enjoy yourself.


how often do you think you shake hands with people, and do you know the ratio of men vs women getting handshaked

I usually hug and/or kiss people here (it’s a tradition, idk). But I guess that’s totally weird and ‘not okay’ with my American friends, so I guess we just wave at each other, shake hands (the first time we meet), and maybe hug the following times. But not always, and I’m not sure why. But I’ll never be like, ‘Why are you trying to hug me, bro?’ I’m always willing. The other day a girl was dressed like a penguin and she asked if I wanted a hug and she was too cute so I hugged her.

Oh, I just remembered something. In church, we have to shake hands with strangers, so I guess I shake hands with about 6-8 people per week. I’m not sure about ‘men vs women.’ But yeah, maybe I shake more women ;)


what is your opinion of your own handshake - is it good, merely acceptable, poor, too firm, etc

Other things > Kisses/Hugs > Handshakes.
I think it depends on who I’m shaking hands with, if it’s the first time we shake hands, etc.
If I shake hands with a professor or potential boss, I try to give a good/confident shake.
If I shake hands with someone I’m never going to see again, I might just say hi and not shake their hand.
If I shake hands with someone attractive, I think I might blush or give like a ‘lazy’ handshake. Like I barely touch their hand or something :/


when you think of a handshake, what comes to mind, either personal or in general

Handshakes are awkward most of the time. For some reason. Sometimes I just wanna shake hands and the person might go for the hug and my hand gets in between our bodies and it’s weird. Sometimes I go for the hug and the person just wants to shake hands. Sometimes I go for the kiss, and the person just wants to shake hands. Sometimes I go for the handshake and the person goes for the kiss and my hand gets in between our bodies and I always worry I might touch the person ‘inappropriately.’ I’m sure I’ve touched boobs accidentally.


did you ever have a secret handshake with a friend or relative as a youth

I think I tried, but I was bad at it. I always forgot the handshake. I had a secret code. Three of us thought we were ‘Harriet the spy’ and thought we were detectives (in school). We talked shit about classmates we didn’t like just like Harriet. This happened in 4th grade. All the other girls thought we were losers.


if you could pick anyone in the world to shake hands with, who would it be

The internet. But if I want to be more realistic, Macaulay Culkin.


if you went on a date with someone and it was your first date and it went alright but not amazing, and the other person wanted to shake your hand, what would you think of this

Probably: ‘Wow, dude, you are shyer than me. This isn’t going to work.’ I don’t think I would ‘force him’ to give me the hug, but, I mean, I expect a hug. If the person wanted to shake hands, I would think ‘This person doesn’t like me/thinks I’m unattractive/Seriously?! A handshake? Ugh.’

Just read the question again and got the ‘alright vs. amazing’ part. Um, depends on what ‘alright’ means. Alright seems like not horrible but like whatever/there was no chemistry. I think I wouldn’t want to hug the person if that’s the case. But I would still feel shitty and think, ‘This person thinks I’m fugly/boring.’ :/


do you have any tips for the readers on what to do or not to do when giving a handshake

Please give clues. Or just straight up tell the person:

• I’m going to shake your hand now
• Wanna shake hands? (via dude from Rushmore)
• Can I hug/kiss you? I’m going to do it

And if you’re going to shake hands, don’t try to show off your muscles (flex), and give a super tight/strong handshake, and hurt my hand. Just maybe smile and look at me while we shake hands. Make it less awkward by saying whatever you’re thinking about (if no one’s talking). Say something like, ‘Whoa is this awkward? I hope not ;)’ lol jk maybe.


have you ever tried shaking hands with yourself - if not, try it now and report the results here

Most awkward handshake ever. Nah, I’ve had worse :(


Thank you ana for your enlightening answers and also for letting me know about the availability of VHS tapes in mexico. next time we will have a special double interview for you! and it will be a VIDEO! FUCK YES