bulk culture & awp

hello. as of this moment i have posted 4 videos to the webbed site Bulk Culture. they are shorter versions of the drivetime chat i posted here a while ago (like, a lot shorter). i have talked about a few different subjects. lots of other people have posted lots of other things there too. i like it a lot and think it could be an even more badass place than it already is (it's already really badass). here is a list of some things on it that i like

- noah cicero said this about himself as he is going to awp (with me dj and mikey b in my truck (wow rare))

- dewitt brinson reviewed dead plants

- sam pink gave his thoughts on making up slang phrases

- scott mcclanahan taught me about a person i didn't know

- ana carrete's life fuckin sucks

- dj berndt asked people who don't read our crap to read & review our crap (our meaning the community, not our as in his and mine)

- and both last and least, here's a link to one of my drivetime chats

i need to go to the office tomorrow to meet with a student, plus to finish grading and to print out the stuff i'm going to read at readings during awp. if you are going to awp, i may or may not see you there. it depends on the kind of stuff you do. if you are only going to the conference itself i can guarantee you i will not see you. if you plan on going to bed before 4am please do not bother getting in touch with me about what i'm doing each night. i got more than enough of the boring awp shit done the first year i went when i didn't know any better, and if those are the kinds of things that interest you, there is no overlap in what we would like to do or will be doing. i am not calling you lame or bragging that i think i will have a better time than you; you should do the things you think are fun and interesting and exciting and i should do the things i think are fun and interesting and exciting and we shouldn't force interaction just to seem polite. this is my polite offer to give you a polite "out" of dealing with me during awp.

have a nice day~

edit: sorry for making a post about awp. who cares about it

hi there. i've been writing recommendations for The Lit Pub for a little while now. my second one went up today. it is for house inspections by carsten rene nielsen. this book fucking owns bones, if you like zachary schomburg or russell edson, you will like him. i guarantee you that. right now. for ever.

in an unrelated note, i will murder mason johnson if i can't sing karaoke next week. that is my second guarantee in this post.

the dusty lilac

my friend cameron and i were in our office talking about how depression has been getting a ton of coverage in poetry both in young and old writers. i said that old writers would describe the feeling as a dusty lilac. then we both laughed and tried to call it as a book title but i rushed to facebook and said this:

My first collection of poetry, "The Dusty Lilac," will be released by Depressiontown University Press in 2013.

so then people thought i was serious and i was like shit now i have to make this. the book is so far (lol i came up with it yesterday) almost entirely a transcript of me badgering cameron, saying this stuff aloud as i typed it.

here's the first poem in the book.

shut up i'm writin a fuckin book

cameron shut up

i'm writing a book

it's called the dusty lilac

every poem will be written while annoying you in our office

if you don't like it jump out the fuckin window

it's going to be forty pages long

i'm going to do a release tour

nobody can come except me and you and you have to come because it'll be whenever you're in here

there'll be twenty stops on the tour

first stop

our office

second stop

our office

third stop

our office

fourth stop

guess where

our office

i'm going to dedicate the book to my mom because i love her.

as you can see i am continuing the theme of being a living joke

in other news i predict i will fail my lit class this semester. i'm a bad student

list of invented foods to date:

- nacho burger
- artisanal bagel bites
- pizza scraps
- cheese ball soup
- dehydrated fruit salad

housefire has published a story i wrote, they published it to their website, their website is hidden in this phrase

here's a video of new stuff

from PINKY PROMISE ME THIS

i recorded this tonight because i am literally, actually, verily in love with ana carrete.

career decision

considering splitting my persona into two shaun gannons; would arbitarily decide which one wrote/said/did which thing; if asked about the 'wrong' thing i would reply "oh, that was the other shaun"; would double-submit everywhere i submitted and feign ignorance every time; would perform at readings twice in a row; was going to say "would interview myself" but i essentially do that all the time anyway; if anyone ever made the "never in the same room at the same time" joke i would reply "he and i have agreed that that joke isn't funny"; would kill myself

here is a video where i ramble for 17 minutes while driving to indiana from maryland for thanksgiving. i don't know if it's interesting or worthwhile but here it is. i have a few more i can post if people actually like this. hopefully you do

thank you for using at&t

i am confined to a hotel room until my phone has finished charging. my phone is broken and will never finish charging. apparently i am home.

frances dinger has made a very good post on her blog about shit talkers in literature both old and current. one thing i would like to add is that sometimes shit talking can be taken to heart in a positive way where it drives those who have been shit-talked to improve their work. i noticed that things were published that i really loved by people involved very shortly after hazel cummings posted her ebook and gave shitty replies to (nearly) everyone who responded. that is great. if that was the response every time someone was an asshole, we would live in a utopia.

let's check the hockey standings as of right now.

the capitals beat the flames last night. that is only a teeny bit surprising, since the flames are crappy, but the capitals are mediocre and are great at blowing opportunities because they don't really work as a team.

there is a blackhawks game tonight. hopefully i am awake to watch it. they are doing well this season. this pleases me. they are my favorite team. i look forward to the 21st when they go against the predators and my friend and i will yell at each other all night.

the oilers are doing terribly, which is fine by me, because i don't like them, except for khabi, because he 100% looks like an insane person. he is the hockey player i would like to meet the least because i'd be afraid that he would go all frank booth on me, especially since i am currently banging the lady he's infatuated with.

what else can i tell you about.

sam pink's advice column on formspring is badass pimp shit. i wish i had the money to pay him to do that for a living. i also wish i could get paid to answer formspring questions for a living. i like being questioned. it reminds me of being a child but i can't be hit for giving petulant answers when i feel the urge to do so.

just kidding i was never hit for being a smart-aleck. i was hit for other reasons.

who owns p.f. chang's. please answer in the comments.

i think i'm going to start my own mfa program. i will hype the fuck out of it in whatever awp's bigass magazine is and all those other places and say all these famous brosephs and hosephs are teaching there and accept every student who applies and tell them they'll have funding then when they show up to my sequestered little school in the mountains they will get this lecture:

welcome to my mfa program. it is actually a school dedicated to augury. there are no professors. there is no funding. there is no food. you must stare at the birds until you hear god. if one of you mother fuckers writes so much as one single line of a poem i will throw you off this cliff. get to work and hail hydra.

and then i'll go to jail for fibbin'